Nathan Van Til’s Gondor Force Bio

Unrest lies to the North, aid being requested from all corners of Middle-Earth by the Dunedain who protect it. Gondor, in its current kingless state, falls under the charge of the Steward, Elgamoth. An  elderly man at this time, being 114, he has given some of his duties as Steward to his heir, Beren (who would take the role of Steward 3 years later). Beren has in this time taken charge of certain foreign affairs, and in this case he must make the decision of what aid can be sent  north. Arnor not being the proud sister-kingdom it once was, is Gondor still obligated to help the fallen realm? They were able to send help in the past, but at great cost. But now is a time of relative Peace in Gondor. Perhaps now is a time to honor the once-great northern kingdom?

An untold number of Orcs and Goblins and wicked men have gathered in the North for unknown purposes. The Dunedain are clearly in need of aid. But at what cost to Gondor?

There are defenses in the land of Gondor that should be addressed. There is little concern of Mordor in these times, to be sure, but who can say what could change? And the Haradrim to the south have come to ally themselves with the descendants of the men of Castamir the Usurper, the Corsairs of Umbar. What danger could rise up in the South. It has been over 200 years since the Balchoth came to fight on the fields of Celebrant. Surely these cousins of the Men of Rhun have recovered from their wounds and could be ready to strike any moment..

No.. Gondor cannot strike out in night to help a non existent kingdom… it is too risky. Yet… can they not send some assistance?

It is while thinking these thoughts that we have a younger noble of strong Numenorean family comes to the mind of Beren: Ondoher. He is a plucky man, leader of a small company of men that has recently proven to be a useful to the  white city. He would gladly take the task of reaching out to the Northern cousins, the Dunedain.

Though still young, Ondoher already shows promise as a leader among the ranks of the army of Gondor. Though he has a head for leadership, he is also a keen and fierce foe in melee combat as well. His swordsmanship was taught him by the Knights of the White tower, the Weapons Masters of Minas Tirith. These skills will surely come to his aid in the battles to come.

However mighty he might be in battle , without his Company with him, he would be doomed. His two closest men are Turin and Turgon. These men of similar nobility or masters of sword and Bow , respectively, and have more or less grown up with Ondoher. They would follow him to whatever end, and trust his leadership with utter surety.

The other bowman of the company is Húrin. Named for the Elf-friend of the First age, Húrin has always aspired to the life of a Ranger. He is not accustomed to the armor of Minas Tirith, as he is of low birth and comes from a family or great hunters, who do Best quietly and and warily tramping the forests of Ithilien for prey to bring home. Time will tell if he will he deemed worthy to join the Ranks of the fierce Rangers of Ithilien.

Hirgon is a spearmen who usually the first to lead the counter charge should the lines break. His great courage may one day be his downfall, but until now, it has been the skill of a spearmen that has proved stronger than the fate of all mortal men.

Arveleg is the cut up of the crew. He is a master trickster and can be a crafty one when he has the mind to be. One day, he may become a leader and out of necessity, but until then, he will not be taken too seriously.

So we find this band of men ready to face what lies ahead in the Ruins of fallen Arnor.


The Haradrim – the annotated works of the Greenfield Battles

Nathan Van Til

Haarith is a leader of a company if haradrim warriors that come of the regions on the outskirts of Abraham. The Golden King, one of the most wealthy rulers in the all of the wide region of Harad, is the lord over Haarith’s local chieftain, Aqil. Aqil has many of his own aspirations, aspirations which make him a strong candidate for promotion in the ranks of the Golden King’s retinue. It is for this reason that Aqil sends out trusted leaders among his local charge to find ways to increase the wealth of himself, and his Lord.

This brings us back to Haarith. Haarith has shown great promise in leadership and martial skill, which Aqil finds to be of great use. After a few small tests of his loyalty, which have included assassinations, establishing trade agreements, and the fighting off of those dogs  of Gondor from local trade routes , Haarith has been given the opportunity he has sought for.

It appears that there is a great deal going on among the Orcs of the North. None but the highest of kings are privy to this information, and Haarith himself knows almost. Nothing himself, but Aqil has called on Haarith and his closest warriors to go off to the North to establish trade and loot as much as they can for the Sale of the Aqil and the Golden King.

So, Haarith gathers men of his clan together to travel afar, for loot, for renown, and to see the death of the Enemies of the Golden King’s Will.

His closest companions are Abaan and Bakr. They are masters of spear and will do all they can to Support their leader, Haarith… even if that means killing one another. Neither have any love for the other, but time will tell of this rivalry will be the downfall of the company, or just the downfall for each other. Who knows? Maybe they can fight together for the sake of Haarith

Then there is Maazin and Na’man. The pair are like brothers, and are usually fighting alongside the other on the battle field.

The next two are Unaar and Udyal. They are actual brothers, and fight alongside each other when they are not fighting one another, Always trying to prove who is the better, more cunning marksmen.

Finally, there is the spearman Yazan. Yazan is a bit of a veteran fighter. Being the oldest of the company, He has survived many raids from the Gondorians, as well as raids into Ithilien. In any case, his experience does not translate to wisdom so much as an understanding of melee combat that cannot be rivaled in the tribe of Aqil. Also, his experience has made him the most cruel of the company, having seen the atrocities the self righteous Descendants of Numenor perform upon his people. Any men of Gondor will not have seen a stronger resolve than that of Yazan when he spies them across the field.

The Fell Courtiers of Shadow

There once was a hole, deep under the mountains of Mordor.  This hole was like many holes found near the domain of the fell Necromancer, and quite unlike the comfortable hobbit holes of the shire.  This hole was dank, dirty, and wet and had the foulest of smells from the fell corruption that was sired within.

Within this hole toiled a great many orcs.  Most were small and broken backed, deemed not very useful by their larger and more powerful kin.  The orcs that worked within the dank and dour holes of Mordor were the weak ones whose only use was to dig at the rock and fetch the black iron that would give blade and helmet and shield to the bigger warriors that would raid the dominion of elf and man and dwarf.

Among these wretches that never saw the light of day was one whose tale was a bit brighter than his unfortunate fellows.  He had no name, like many that toiled the mines, and so only went by the name Snaga, which meant Slave in the dark tongue.

Snaga was a crafty fellow, and what he lacked for in stature and strength he made up for with a cunning mind and murderous intent.  Snaga’s cunning often carried into his speech, and it was this that angered the larger orcs in the mines.  It was often said that Snaga was too smart for his own good.

The overseer of the filthy mining hole where Snaga spent most of his life was Gobad.  Gobad was an old brute, almost as tall as a man was, and bald with blue crusted scales covering his body.  It was said that the scales were a foul elven disease that had befallen the orc during his time as a raider, but it seemed to have no ill effects other than to itch maddeningly and put Gobad into a fouler temper than normal, if you can believe that.

Gobad hated Snaga, and would kick or punch or slap the smaller orc whenever he could, which was many times a day.  He would line up the orcs he detested the most and send them on duties that were meant to kill them.  That Snaga continued to live after being sent on dozens of murderous quests infuriated Gobad to his wits end (which for an orc was not very far truth be told).

“Snaga!  You miserable worm!”  Gobad would bellow through the tunnels.  “Get your lazy carcass to the kennels and feed the beasts!”  And so Snaga would take himself to the kennels where the wargs were kept and manage to feed them without becoming their dinner as well.

“Snaga!  You wretched villain!  Climb to the top of the fetid shaft and bring me back a nugget of the blackest iron!”  And so Snaga would scurry up the steep mining shaft past the corpses of dozens of orcs that had fallen the treacherous climb and procured a choice nugget of the black iron for Gobad.

“Snaga!  You blasted thief of joy, the Master’s shaman has lost his pit viper.  Find it and return it to him, and if you get bitten don’t come back at all!”  And so Snaga would creep about the dark tunnels and wet caverns until he found the pit viper and managed to corner it and trap it before returning it to the shamans.

Day after day of dangerous tasks, and Snaga thwarted the reaper’s toll every time by his quick wits.  Gobad began to realize that if he wanted himself rid of the Snaga that he would have to take matters into his own hands.

“Snaga!  You champion of filth, fetch the Master tonight’s stew and don’t be making him wait too long ‘ere else you’ll be feeling the back of me hand!”  Gobad screamed down the tunnel.   Snaga did as he was told, and went to the kitchens where he expected to find the night’s stew waiting for him to slop into a wooden bowl.

The kitchens were empty.  The fires had died down and there was no stew waiting for Snaga that evening.  A shadow crept over him from behind, and turning quickly Snaga saw Gobad standing in the doorway blocking out the light of the tunnels with his frame and holding a pitted hooked sword in his meaty hand.

“Don’t look so surprised feeble worm.  You had to know your days on this world were soon to be over, and this time it will be me that punches your ticket.”  Gobad said, lumbering toward the smaller orc.

The hooked sword arced overhead, but Snaga was possessed of a speed befitting his small stature, and the heavy iron implement smashed into the wooden table behind where the orc was standing.  The blade was embedded, and Gobad struggled to free it.  Snaga crept behind the larger orc and produced a small blade.

Gobad wrenched the blade free of the table with a growl and turned to face Snaga.  The smaller orc threw the blade, and Gobad parried it with his bigger sword.  The dagger scratched the flesh of his meaty hand, drawing a thin stream of blood.  Gobad looked down at the hand and chuckled.

“You think you are a warrior now Snaga?  You larder of garbage.  You wouldn’t last five minutes out in the wild before the elves filled you full of arrows.  I’m going to gut you with that little knife of yours, that’s what I’m going to do!”  Gobad charged and drove his shoulder into Snaga, driving the orc back and over a cutlery table.

Gobad’s grin got wider as he stalked over to the fallen Snaga, kicking him with the toe of his iron boot.  “Come warrior, show me that you are the one to march with the Master’s warriors and raid the men and the elves and the dwarves!”  Gobad laughed as he lunged forward to drive the point of his wicked blade into Snaga’s chest.

Snaga kicked out and crunched the side of Gobad’s knee.  The larger orc gave a yelp and crashed to the ground, while Snaga rolled away as fast as grease.  Gobad used the sword to help him stand back to his feet, and coughed.

“You wretch!  You canker on my arse!  I’ll have your head on a pole I will!”  Gobad screamed, coughing again.  He lunged forward once more, but found that his strength was failing him.  The blade fell harmlessly out of his hand and clattered to the cold stone ground, and the big orc fell to a knee in an attempt to catch his breath.

“Poor Gobad.  Can’t catch his breath.  Too old to fight he is.”  Snaga smiled, broken teeth protruding out at all angles.  He held up a dirty glass vial that held a clear liquid.

“Wots that?”  Gobad said between wheezes as he struggled harder to catch a breath.  His lungs were seizing and his vision became spotty.

“This?  This is the venom that I got from the viper that the shaman lost in the tunnels that you made me find.  I put it on that there little knife, the one I made from a chip of that iron you made me fetch from the top of the fetid shaft.”  Gobad’s eyes were bulging now as his hands wrapped around his own throat.  He collapsed onto the floor, breath not coming to him as he quivered in agony.

“You.  Parasite.  You.  Murderous dog.  You…” with a gasp the big old orc died.  Snaga looked down at the body before picking up the wicked curved blade that Gobad had tried to run him through with.  It took a few messy tries, but Snaga was able to cut the head from the body after the third or fourth whack.  Reaching down, he picked up the head and held it up to his own.

“Gobad!  You old wanker.  Feed the rats!”  Snaga threw the head over to the corner of the kitchen, where it landed with a sloppy wet thud.  Examining the sword more carefully, Snaga decided it was time for him to be boss of the dingy dirty hole deep under the mountains of Mordor.

His Master would need to know that Gobad was no longer capable of his service.

Episode 1 – Introductions

This is the first entry into the Tomb of Annihilation and with it I would like to explain how the format will work.

The game consists of a Dungeon Master, who will from this point be abbreviated as DM, and a number of players.  To begin this adventure, we have two main characters that start off the story:  Auticus and Devito.

Auticus and Devito are twin brothers, born of the noble Ser Gwain of Toth and his wife Esmeralda.  Ser Gwain is a sworn knight of the order of the White Swan and member of the household guard of King Errin the Pious, king of the lands called Northlund.

This tale does not really concern itself with Northlund, its king, or its knights, however.  Suffice it to say that Auticus and Devito were raised in comfortable surroundings and enjoyed the privileges of an influential knight and a well-polished upbringing.

Though Auticus and Devito are twin brothers, they look nothing alike.  Auticus stands tall and has set shoulders, whereas Devito has the stature of a dwarf, and an ugly one at that.

Auticus was raised among books and learning, and was submitted for learning at the Tower of the White Crystal, where he apprenticed as a young wizard.  He was not the greatest of pupils, often earning the ire of his professors in his attempts at using his status and upbringing to his advantage, and he became known for cutting corners where he could;  a practice he often referred to as Time Management.

Devito was loved by his parents, though his physical stature marked him for mockery and judgement by all of his peers.  Whereas Auticus succeeded through influence and intellect, Devito had a marked interest in alcohol, whores, and the shadowy underworld of Northlund.

The two brothers were close despite their differences and abilities.  It is because of that closeness that when Auticus hears tell of an expedition set for a far away city called Chult, a place full of lost cities ripe for exploration, that Devito insists that he come along as well to keep his brother company and to keep him safe.

But such is the world that expeditions to far away cities are niceties that cover other darker things that entangle the world in shadow.  For the past several days the talk on the streets and in the taverns has been all about a horrible wasting curse that has begun afflicting the people seemingly at random!

The victim grows thinner and weaker each day, slowly but steadily sliding toward the ferryman’s possession.

Temples and scholars of divine means are at a loss to explain this curse that has affected the entire region, and perhaps even the entire world…

Auticus has little interest in this disease, however.  The invincibility of youth cloaks his thoughts and his interests lie in the hidden troves of knowledge and the arcane that the ancient civilizations near Chult have buried and forgotten about.

And so on a late-summer evening, Auticus and Devito are summoned to the house of the wizard-merchant to meet their benefactor and learn of the details of their expedition to the steamy jungles of the south…

Lolphins Fall to the Zig, Eliminated from Orcdidas

ORKLAND COLISEUM September 16, 2017 – A Middenheim Lolphins fan wearing a Black Zack the Traitor jersey wears a paper bag over his head as his team is defeated by a rookie chaos dwarf team  (Photo by JP Phlegm/Snotty Gobbo Images)


The Middenheim Lolphins were picked to drop the game 2-0 by the Rock Vagas odds makers despite their overwhelmingly large team value disparity.  It was exactly that disparity in team value that gave Lolphins fans a worry, because the inducements would come to play a big part in the game, and the Lolphins players skills were only marginally better than the rookie chaos dwarf team.

This would be the first contest without stars Matt Damon and Samuel L Jackson, who were both cut by the team earlier this week to save some Team Value.

Two big questions would play out during this game that would play a huge factor.  The first was the Lolphins trend at losing four to five players per game due to injury.  Middenheim lead the league in casualties inflicted upon and in casualties inflicted upon per game last season at 4.5.  The second issue that plagued the Lolphins is inconsistent contract holdout Nudumbakin Su.  The ogre averaged six contract disputes per game (an ogre should fail this roll 2.5 times per game on average).

If the Lolphins could clean both of these issues up and play some solid Blood Bowl, they had a shot at defeating the rookie team.

The first half of the ball game was tight.  The Lolphins kicked off to Zig and the chaos dwarfs slowly pushed forward toward the Lolphins endzone.  To Middenheim’s credit, the team bent but never broke.  The Zig stalled near the 25 yard line and pushed toward the sideline, but the tenacious Lolphins stayed on top of the bull centaur rusher.

With time expiring, the Zig were forced to try a string of 50/50 dice rolls with no rerolls available to them.  Needing three key one-dice blocks, a pair of dodge rolls, and a hand off and catch, the odds weren’t with them.

Thats when the Lolphins circus truck pulled into town and the clown-faced cheerleaders began singing the Middenheim fight song.  Inspired, Zig managed to succeed at every single one of those rolls with no-reroll in the final turn, going up 1-0 on the Lolphins at halftime.

Shaken but determined, the Lolphins came back from halftime read to go on offense and try to tie the game up.

It was here that longtime Lolphins writer Nick “Haha” Dixon noted that the Lolphins were getting ready to trademark their Lol.

“You suck you mother *******” a fan in an orange Black Zac the Traitor jersey screamed, throwing a rock and smashing Lolphins tackle Richmond Webb in the larynx.  The lineman went down, and medical personal rushed the field.  Webb was pronounced dead on the field but Lolphins apocathery Hannibal Lecter managed to revive the man on the sideline.

That was the beginning of the end for the Lolphins.  A tight first half was incredulous, and all of the bad thing that could happen began their train ride to hell for the team.

First the sprinkler system turned on.  Then a wizard threw a fireball onto the field, taking out Black Zack the traitor (and causing the Lolphins fans present to erupt into cheers and laughter) and sending him to the medical booth where he was done for the day.

All in all, the Lolphins picked up the ball and moved forward a bit before being stuffed by the Chaos Dwarf defense for the remainder of the half, while their players one by one were sent to the medical booth.

At the final whistle, seven Lolphins players were out of the game and hurt out of the twelve rostered players, exceeding their average of 4.5 by a hefty sum.

Nudumbakin Su played a solid first half, and then contract disputed five turns out of eight… effectively rendering him out of the game as well.  Nudumbakin Su played 32 turns of Blood Bowl and contract disputed 13 of those in the two games.  Thats well over a 1:3 chance of failure (whereas normal teams would endure it 1:6 times)

The Lolphins took their meager winnings home to Middenheim with them, where after selling their media team they purchased outright Trash Life Stadium for the upcoming 2018 season.

They have a long way to go if they want to challenge Dirty Skink and Jormangundr for the division title…

September 16, 2017 – Injured Lolphins players pose for the camera near their coach Burning Dumpster Fire

The Dig Episode V – the Final Chapter

The relics on the planet are dwindling, and only a scant few remain!  The top four warbands will be making their way to the center of the jungle for an epic showdown, but first we have one final chapter remaining to see if anybody can catch up.

Episode V – the players will run a RANDOM scenario out of the book.  Roll a D6 and find the mission that corresponds with the number rolled.  Attackers will always be the player with the greater relic, and defenders will be the player with the fewest relics.  If tied, roll off.

Lord Syphalia vs the First Arkhan Recon – putting the money where the mouth is in the name of Grandfather Nurgle

Razak’s Roughnecks take on the 2nd Company of the Blood Angels’ scout squad

Mr. Salty’s Eldar take on the Space Wolves

The Rusted Claw try to finish off Fireteam Aristide

Shadow War Campaign – The Dig Episode IV – Ambush!

Moving into the halfway point of the campaign, we have an ambush!

Players with the lowest score are the attacker.  In the case of a draw in relic count, the players will roll off to determine who is attacker and who is defender.

Chris N (Plague) vs Cody (2nd Company)
Kevin (Alpha Team) vs Tyler (1st Arkhan)
Daniel (Rusted Claw) vs Brad (Twilights Wrath)
Jon (Fireteam Aristidae) vs Bradley (Thunderfang’s Stalkers)

We are coming close in figuring out what happened on this world…